tales of a clever woman

Story 1:

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, Iwill grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog and then the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to. "The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM-- she's the most beautiful woman in the world. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM--she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack. Don't mess with clever women.


Story 2:

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket." She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque."